I’m not here to discuss the why of it, but instead what actually bothers me (and Simone): Boys are allowed to do this – the Blow Off. Instead of saying anything or doing anything, they just disappear. Or don’t text back. Or text back randomly. I already know this bothers Miss Esme, and Jess from City Girls World has dubbed the worst offender of the Blow Off the Ghost Man.
But fine. You know what? I’ll allow the Blow Off. OK? It can certainly be argued as a clear message that you’re no longer into this (for whatever reason). But… if you’re pulling a Blow Off, why not just go through with it?
Why send the random “hey what’s up how’s it going sorry I haven’t called” text?
Or, why call randomly for no real reason?
Or the “I swear I’ve just been busy, please don’t give up on me yet!” response when all we want, at this point, is our fucking Pyrex back.
I’m serious. I want to know why boys do that.
Until it is explained to me, I have a few theories:
They don’t want to be the asshole, and they feel guilty.
They don’t know yet if they want to blow you off, so they’re keeping you around on the back burner.
As for #1, let me explain it for you, if you haven’t already received this memo: You will be a bigger asshat if you blow us off later, after feigning interest.
#2? Another effing newsflash: Guess what? You are totally allowed to not know if you want to keep dating us. That is completely and utterly your prerogative.
…You are allowed to tell us you’re not interested. In this day and age, it is reeeediculously easy to send a text or an email that simply says you’re just that or you’d rather be friends. That is your choice, and even if we’re bummed? That isn’t your problem any more. Yes, we might be angry and upset – and if you’ve given us reason to think you were more interested than you were, that’s kind of a consequence of that behavior. Sorry – man up and deal with it, and maybe, in the future? Don’t spew bullshit you don’t mean. However, in general? People are allowed to lose interest. It just happens. If we’re upset about it, that’s for us to deal with if you’re up-front and tell us about it. Really.
In terms of the guys who start sending mixed messages, I think the guys all belong to 2 groups:
1.) clueless, flailing, disorganized, confused and immature (such an attractive combination!)
2.) game players who really enjoy manipulating women. For these gusy, it’s not even about the sex or the interest, it is purely an exercise in power.